Fancy readers, last week I made the mistake of making my blog public. And if you know me, you know I couldn’t give two shits about what people say and think about me. Having said that, don’t talk shit about Max… he’s a fucking baby, jesus christ. The internet is full of dumb cunts, I’m aware of that. I’m also aware that people are generally grumpy assholes, especially when hiding behind a computer screen. And I’d rather not be reminded of what terrible assholes are actually out there, I like living in my “everything is great” bubble and surrounding myself with wonderful positive happy people. Because really, everything actually is great – life is perfect for me right now, and I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. I have the best friends, the best husband, and the BEST baby on the planet who I get to spend all day with walking in my new awesome neighbourhood while singing awesome songs that he loves dancing and laughing too. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER!!
Conversely, I’ll be shutting down this very lucrative money making blog today. Because as much as I don’t give a shit about what anyone says to me, it’s getting increasingly difficult to read people tell me that my son should have a different mother because I swear too much. I couldn’t care any tiny bit less than I do right now of what strangers think, but just reading the words “you shouldn’t have a baby”, or “you really are a terrible mother”, or “he deserves so much better than you” even if it is from cunt strangers… I just don’t care to see it, mostly because I couldn’t give a shit what strangers think so why I am even talking to them. I mean, I can barely give a shit about what my friends think of me haha.
In conclusion… go fuck yourselves you perfect people/mothers who never do anything wrong and especially don’t swear, i’ll just be here swearing up a storm and cuddling the cutest baby in the world the rest of the day while we bake cupcakes, very fattening and delicious ones, all the while, basking the fact that I am awesome and amazing and probably one of the best moms ever EVER! Just as Max is the most fucking awesome baby ever created. And while i’m on it, Brian is pretty amazing and perfect too. Hey, and so are all my friends!! AND so are all of Max’s baby friends, and not only are his baby friends the best, they’re also really really fucking cute. We don’t associate with ugly babies obviously.
It’s been real. And thanks everyone for making me a solid $15.67 in AdSense revenue the past few months.
It’s too bad I’m shutting down, I had a really good post written about what goes on during a vacuum delivery. And I don’t mean your house vacuum unfortunately (or fortunately?). We’ll never know.