As of next week, I will have been officially off of work for 2 years. That went by so fast, it’s insane. My whole long term plan was to use all my savings (which I budgeted would last me 2 years) then go back to work, since it would be easier to find Max daycare now that he’s older. BUT NOW, now I can’t put him in daycare, so I can’t go back to work, and now I’m fucked.
It would have been so much easier to put him in daycare when my mat leave ended when he was 12 months, but now we have a thing together and there’s no possible way I couldn’t be with him all day, I love him way too much now. I love every single minute of every single day we have together, more than anything. That makes me sound like I really didn’t give a shit about him at 12 months, which isn’t true. I just maybe gave less of a shit than I do now. Wait, that’s also not true. It’s just that at 12 months babies are A LOT of work and no reward. Barf cleaning, poop cleaning, crying for no reason, and they don’t do anything, it’s really really boring. But now he does cool stuff, and we talk to each other all day, and we have so much fun. And if he barfs or poops (and he does all the time, so it’s great), he tells me to clean it because he’s demanding, but then we do laundry together, and take long fun baths, and it’s not so bad. He also tells me what he wants to do all day, so we do it, and then he spends the rest of his day recounting what we did and laughing. HOW CAN I PUT THAT IN DAYCARE??? I can’t, and so I’m broke for the foreseeable future. Although I can’t even pay rent now, so I’m beyond broke and moderately scared, I have no clue what I just got myself into. Massive fail.
I really thought by now it’d be easier to put him in daycare because I thought I could just tell him he was going to daycare and he’d understand, so it wouldn’t be like I was randomly dropping him off somewhere he didn’t know. But that’s the problem, that now he does understand, and he isn’t going to have any of it. He has a serious complainey attitude problem, which I have no idea where he gets it from at all, in the least. At. All. So he’s not going to even go to daycare if I wanted him to. He would leave and come home himself, I know it. Either that or he gets kicked out of daycare for swearing, which is a very very strong possibility. And it should be noted that I wasn’t the one to teach him to swear. Brian said “holy shit” by accident one time, and Max just repeated it. Also, he heard the F word when we were watching Wolf of Wall Street, before I knew he could even acknowledge things he heard on TV. And in all fairness I didn’t know Max was in the room when I was watching it. And that means now I just watch Food Network all day, because I can’t deal with what he’s picking up wherever, and because I watch Food Network all day, I’m hungry all day, and because I’m hungry all day, I eat all day, and because I eat all day, I get really fat all day, and because I get fat all day, we run out of food quicker, and because of that I need to buy more groceries, and because of that I run out of money sooner. And this is the circle of life in my house.