Category Archives: Daycare

Another boring daycare post #GetOverIt

This is a great article (, you should read/skim it. It’s disheartening to know that the daycare cost situation reaches much further than Toronto. I had no idea. But It’s so wonderful to know that more moms are staying home now!! Although it’s unfortunate that they’re being forced to by daycare costs, and also unfortunate that it’s still moms that stay home and not dads (although maybe this survey just didn’t differentiate moms/dads, I’m not sure).

Other than the fact that there is no available daycare in Toronto, the daycare that we did manage to get into was around $2,400 a month. We both made OK incomes, but that cost is the cost of university basically, and I’d rather give him the money for that if he wants it. Although since I’m not working, I obviously don’t have that money anymore haha. #Fail

Selling our house, cancelling cable, cancelling cell phones, not going out to eat, getting a super cheap car, buying non organic groceries, learning recipes that would lower our grocery bills, not going out to shows/movies/travel, not buying anything for myself, etc… have allowed me to stay at home with him, and I don’t miss any of those things even a little tiny bit. That’s a lie, I miss having a bigger house, but it’s not a deal breaker, it pales in comparison to being home with Max, and I’d give up even more if I had to just to stay here, it really wasn’t that difficult to give it all up.

BORING POST! I should talk about how he likes to put food in his mouth now for a long time and then put it back in places that I don’t know about, then feed it to me when it’s all soggy and disgusting without me knowing. It’s fucking gross. Like, I wouldn’t put a cracker in my mouth for 2 minutes then take it out then eat it again later. So why do I do it with him?? Why are things less gross when babies do them? No, I take that back it’s not less gross, it’s just as gross… but why do we accept it like it’s nothing??? I ate so many wet french fries yesterday that I want to barf thinking about it now, but at the time it was hilarious. ugh.


I love being a stay at home mom. I love it more than I thought i would. When I decided to do it, I was super freaked out. I’d say the first couple of weeks or so I was so sure I made the wrong decision. In fact, I kept even telling people I’d be back at work soon so let me know if they’re hiring in a couple months.

But, Max is so fucking awesome, and I can’t even put into words how much I love him, like there are no words that would convey it to anyone. I totally thought I would be so bored all the time, but I think once I actually accepted that i’m not going back to work, it all just became so much more fun. Plus he does so much cool stuff now, and he’s learning so many new things every single day. I’ve been sending him emails since he was born, and now he’s just doing so much new stuff that I can’t even keep track of it to send him emails about it, it’s pretty crazy. I can’t imagine missing this if he were in daycare.I really can’t imagine it.

He’s also going through a separation thing now, which he NEVER EVER did before. Like since he was born, he couldn’t care less where or when or who I dropped him off with. I was super upset about it, I’m not gonna lie. All these other babies just wanted to be with their moms, and he didn’t even care. But now, now he cares haha. Like now, I can’t drop him off anywhere… sometimes I can’t even let other people hold him, or even walk 2 steps away to get something without him losing his shit. Even daycare at the gym he loses it when I leave, in fact he loses it the second we walk in, because he knows I’m about to leave. Anyway, I can’t imagine doing that every day, all day. I can barely do it for the hour i’m at the gym, let alone all day.

I read a blog the other day about what’s harder, being a SAHM or a working mom, and it was basically saying they’re both equally hard. And I agree to a point. But, even for all the hard parts that my job has, the reward far fucking outweighs the difficulties. It’s for sure sometimes hard for me to play with him all day because there’s only so many times I can sing the same song, or have energy to bounce or dance or whatever, but that’s it. It’s not even remotely hard to cuddle all day, to see him learn new things all day, to take him places and teach him stuff, that’s not hard. I mean, there are hard parts… I have no money, like I really have no money, I can’t even stress how little money I have (i.e., my hair straightener broke 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t gone out in public since because I look like an asshole, and I can’t afford to buy a new one, so I may or may not be in a frizzy fucked up rut of poorness because of it… anyway, I digress). Also, I don’t talk to adults anymore, I’m really missing out on what’s going on “out there”. I get no break, I work like 16+ hour days without a break, It’s getting increasingly harder to find things to converse about with others, because I don’t really have anything else going on except watching Max all day. When I’m sick, I have to work just as hard as I do every other day no matter what, and again… so poor, so so poor, etc… but I just don’t think that’s anything compared to what life would be like if I had to just leave him all day every day, and also do everything I do all day, except do it all only after and before work. Working moms, I don’t know how you do it, and I’d love to know. You’re a lot stronger than I am.

It’s funny how quickly that changed… me telling people just last month that I was gonna go back to work pretty soon, to me saying right now that I don’t know if I’m ever going to go back.